


Wait, don't go away

by ANTchan



Series: Kyber & Lace [4]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, Developing Relationship, Drama & Romance, Established Wedge Antilles/Luke Skywalker, Idiots in Love, Lingerie, Lingerie Model Bodhi Rook, M/M, Mutual Pining, Polyamory, Polyamory Confusion and Drama, Roommates, please help them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2020-12-04
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:00:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27870418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ANTchan/pseuds/ANTchan
Summary: That seems to be Wedge’s flaw: he always waits to find the right thing to say. Except for the fact that the right thing to say never comes.And it’s his downfall in the end.Because one night, Bodhi can’t meet their eyes across the dinner table as he announces: “So I’m… going to look for my own apartment again.”The boys wait too long, and Bodhi tries to cut his losses before it breaks his heart.
Relationships: Bodhi Rook/Luke Skywalker, Wedge Antilles/Bodhi Rook, Wedge Antilles/Bodhi Rook/Luke Skywalker, Wedge Antilles/Luke Skywalker
Series: Kyber & Lace [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1149938
Comments: 8
Kudos: 21





	Wait, don't go away

**Author's Note:**

> It's been 84 years...... but here is more lingerie au. No smut this time, just PAIN. (Fun fact, for the longest time this doc was titled Lingerie au 3: THE ANGSTENING)
> 
> There's a happy ending though, I swear. 
> 
> Special thanks to the lovely rogueshadows, who has laughed and cried and screamed over this au with me since the beginning. And finally encouraged me to post this. :D Thank you, lovely.
> 
> The title of this one is from AJR's "Karma", specifically the gut-wrenching last verse:
> 
> _Wait, don't go away, can I lie here forever?  
>  You say that I'm better, why don't I feel better?  
> The universe works in mysterious ways  
> But I'm starting to think it ain't working for me."_

\--------------------1---------------------

Days pass, and with each one Wedge’s world grows a little brighter. There’s no dramatic change, no upheaval of the way they’ve been doing things before now - in fact, since the tension had finally snapped between him and Bodhi, things have settled back into routine. They get up in the mornings, scrambling for their separate shifts, eat dinner too late but _together_ , somehow manage to make ends meet, and take it one day at a time. Bodhi’s first photoshoot gets approved for publication. Luke is consumed by Ben Kenobi’s latest project, sometimes not returning until nearly midnight, tired but with some much needed overtime pay. Wedge grows more and more frustrated with his (barely) paid internship every day.

But there’s a sense of hope now, a sense of _purpose_. Wedge knows what he has to do - what he _wants_ to do.

He wants Bodhi. They both do. He’s known that, in one form or another, for nearly five years, but now it seems so real to him. They don’t have to be this nebulous _thing_ that they’ve all been dancing around since college. They can be together. _Really_ together.

When he voices as much to Luke, in a moment of sheer awe, his boyfriend actually rolls his eyes at him. “Wedge,” he says solemnly, his words carefully measured.

“...What?”

Luke takes a slow, steady breath. He looks ready to say something, something not necessarily flattering. Instead he rubs a hand over his face, a tremor in his shoulders that Wedge takes too long to realize is laughter.

Wedge grabs the pillow from behind his head, and thwacks it over Luke’s grinning face. All it does is cause Luke to burst into giggles, thankfully muffled behind the pillow. Wedge shushes him hastily for fear that Bodhi will hear them through the too-thin walls.

“You're…” Luke gasps through hitched, muffled laughter. “You're a _dumbass._ ” But he punctuates the insult by cupping Wedge's face in his hands and kissing him. Wedge makes a questioning noise against his boyfriend's lips, unsure if he should be offended or not.

Luke smiles as he pulls back, his mouth alluringly pink and sweet. “We could _always_ have been together,” he explains.

Wedge frowns. “Yeah, but... I mean together _for real._ ” Just thinking about it makes him jittery again, that same feeling like he’s just going to float right off the bed and never be able to come down. “ _Dating._ ”

“So do I. Nothing’s ever stopped us from just asking him. We could ask him right now.”

Luke makes to get up, but Wedge quickly reaches out to stop him. “What?! We can’t--” he hisses, glancing wild-eyed at their closed door. “We can’t just say it like that!”

“Well, why not? We’ve waited five years.”

“And we need to do this _right._ ”

That seems to be Wedge’s flaw: he always waits to find the right thing to say. Except for the fact that the _right thing to say_ never comes. Over the next few days, Luke shoots down at least four ideas for grand gestures that are, honestly, unattainable and too complex. But still Wedge hesitates, unable to find the right words that suit the gravity of his feelings. Their feelings.

And it’s his downfall in the end. 

Because one night, about a week afterwards, Bodhi can’t meet their eyes across the dinner table as he announces: “So I’m… going to look for my own apartment again.”

\--------------------2---------------------

The moment Bodhi steps into their apartment, Jyn knows it means trouble. By this point in their friendship, she’s learned to recognize the lovelorn look of emotional turmoil. The moment she opens the door to see his drawn, anguished face, she’s caught between the fierce desire to throttle his roommates and _internally screaming_.

“What happened?” she asks even before he can open his mouth.

Bodhi gapes at her, shocked and then guilty. He hesitates to answer her, which is worse. Jyn quickly beckons him into the living room, pushing him with sure hands down onto the couch. 

Cassian steps out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a dishtowel. The smile falls off his face at the sight of their friend. “Bodhi, what’s wrong?” He glances quickly from Bodhi to Jyn, his brow furrowing at what is no doubt her livid expression.

She folds her arms over her chest. “What did they do?” 

Bodhi’s eyes are wide and miserable, his shoulders hunched up defensively. “I-I told them I was moving out.”

Jyn considers herself to be a person well in control of her emotions. Someone focused and unflappable. But in that moment she can’t help that her surprise shows on her face, that her very being exudes just how far off guard that answer has thrown her. “You… what?”

“I can’t stay there anymore, Jyn,” Bodhi continues on, gaining in momentum the longer he does. “This thing with them is getting more complicated and it’s not getting _better_. They-- we just keep doing the same thing we’ve been doing since college. They’re dating and we’re all sleeping together and I’m just this… weird hanger on in their relationship. And as long as I’m there it’s not going to change! I’m just going to keep getting in their way. Things were better when I had my own place.” 

As he speaks, Jyn tips her head in Cassian’s direction, sharing a look of such exasperated understanding that it’s almost laughable. Cassian rubs a hand over his face, utterly at a loss.

 _‘I told you,’_ she tries to communicate silently with her stare. _‘I told you all three of them were dumbasses.’_

“Bodhi,” Jyn says slowly, “you were miserable when you had your own apartment.”

“B-Because it was a shitty apartment!”

“Damn right it was. And in a shitty neighborhood too. Do you know how many texts I got from Wedge a week about how worried he was? Or how many times they asked if you would be okay with moving in with them?”

Bodhi sputters. “They did? They-- no, that isn’t the point! At least when I was there we had _boundaries!_ ”

“Boundaries that made you mope and pine like you were on a soap opera! I know exactly what that looks like; I watched all of the one Cassian was in.”

Out of the corner of her eye she can see Cassian hang his head. “Jyn...”

She smirks faintly, but ignores him. “Bodhi, this is stupid.” A horrible thought strikes her, then. “Wait, you haven’t been looking for apartments on your own without telling anyone again, have you?” She keenly remembers that was what had landed him in that shitty apartment in the first place, that he had hurried to have one rather than answer concerns from any of them.

Bodhi glares stubbornly at her. “I haven't! I just started looking.” Her eyes narrow, because it’s not _quite_ a lie that she can hear in his voice. Bodhi cringes under her scrutiny, and for a telltale moment he curls in on himself before remembering not to. “I-I might need a place to stay until I find my own apartment…?” he lets the request trail off, his eyes wide and pleading.

And now Jyn’s jaw does drop in complete exasperation. She stops just short of throwing her hands up in disbelief. Though she’s not sure _why_ this is so shocking to her - after all, it’s not the first time Bodhi has done something like this.

Cassian takes a tentative step forward, ever ready to step in to help her. He has more tact than she does when it comes to these emotional situations - Jyn will admit that she’s just as likely to say the wrong thing as she is the right one when something catches her off guard. But this time Cassian has the wrong idea, the smile on his face small and concerned. “Bodhi, we’d be happy to--”

“No.” Jyn lifts a hand before her boyfriend can finish that thought. “No. Not happening.”

“Jyn!” the two of them protest in unison, in completely different tones of voice.

She shakes her head, pointing an imperious finger at Bodhi. “ _You_ need to talk to them. You know I have your back if you need it. But Bodhi, this time you’re being an idiot. You need to talk to Wedge and Luke and _tell them_.”

That causes Bodhi to resemble an animal ready to bolt instead. He starts to sputter something that sounds too close to a denial, which Jyn cuts off.

“Bodhi, go _home_.”

The word seems to unsettle Bodhi even more. And Jyn has a blind hope that it’ll somehow shock him out of this. But after a breath his eyes go dark and sorrowful. “I can’t. I can’t do this anymore, Jyn.”

He does leave their apartment eventually, after more urgings to talk to Wedge and Luke instead of just running for the hills. Jyn doesn’t even have to wonder if her words fall on deaf ears, but at least he agrees to go back.

The moment the door closes behind Bodhi, Jyn lets out a frustrated groan and presses her forehead against the door. She taps her head on it a couple of times for good measure.

“Hey, none of that.” A hand slips between her forehead and the door on the next tap, drawing a soft laugh from her despite everything. “If you bash your head in on the door, we’ll never get the deposit back,” Cassian teases.

“I get it, you only like me for my pretty face.”

“I like you for more than that.” It’s an old tete-a-tete but it still warms Jyn to her core. Cassian tugs her away from the door, drawing her into his arms.

She sighs, and knocks her head against his shoulder.

“Hey!”

“Cass, they’re so _dumb._ ”

“I’m not going to argue with you there.” At her next wordless grumble, Cassian tucks her under his chin and nudges her closer to the couch. “Alright, come here.” He guides her down onto it by her shoulders, and walks back into the kitchen. When he returns, he brings with him the tub of ice cream from the freezer and two spoons.

“Are you breaking up with me?” she smirks, quirking a brow at him. “Are we having a break up party?”

Cassian joins her on the sofa, sliding in close and handing her a spoon with a solemn expression. “Let’s call it an ‘our friends are idiots’ party. Want to watch a stupid, fluffy romcom and finish off this ice cream?”

“Oh god, yes.” She nestles up against his side, reaching over to pop the lid on the ice cream while he searches the list of possible movies for the night. “What are we watching? _My Life in Ruins_? _The Wedding Planner?_ ”

“They’ve got _Love Actually_ on here.”

“Mm, something less ‘classic,’” Jyn suggests, stabbing her spoon into the container. Fuck bowls, they’re going to eat it right out of the tub and have a fantastic time doing it.

“ _The Proposal_?”

“Yessh,” she mumbles around the spoon. “Please, if I get to see Ryan Reynolds naked for three seconds because of this, I’ll call the night salvaged.”

“So will I,” Cassian laughs gently. She nudges him playfully in the ribs, before tucking her feet up under her and leaning into him. They curl together, the ice cream balanced on their knees, and watch the opening of the movie unfold.

“If they don’t get their shit together,” she declares finally, “then I’m going to strangle one of them. I’m not sure which.”

\--------------------3---------------------

By the time they’re looking at apartment number five for the day, Bodhi is ready to crawl into the nearest hole and never come back out. Luke doesn’t seem to be faring much better. His supportive smile has gone strained about the corners between apartment number four and five. Bodhi tries not to look him in the eye this time, focusing instead on the landlady currently giving them a tour of the apartment.

It’s probably the best one they’ve seen so far. Lived in, some scuffs and scrapes around the edges, a leaky faucet and outdated kitchen appliances. But there’s nothing hinting at a health hazard, unlike apartments two and three. (At the first apartment they didn’t even go into the building. They’d taken one look at it and the surrounding street and Luke had pulled him back towards the car.)

This one is a perfectly acceptable apartment for the price. But it’s…

Bodhi doesn’t know why he hesitates. He’s hesitated with all of them. Maybe he’s just picky, and maybe a little gun-shy after the disaster of his first apartment.

He tunes back in as the landlady is showing him the balcony. It’s less her words, and more the way her eyes drift over to Luke over Bodhi’s shoulder that catches his attention. “Have y’all lived in the city long?” she questions conversationally.

“Uh, since college. Three years. Just looking for a new place.” He doesn’t like the sparkle of knowing in her expression, and hastens to add, “Roommates, you know?”

Rather than stop her, his answer only seems to make things worse. “I get it. A nice young couple like you deserves their privacy.”

Bodhi chokes on his own breath, sure that his eyes are wide as saucers. Behind him Luke doesn’t make a sound, but when Bodhi swivels his head to peer at him, Luke’s face has gone pink. “O-Oh,” Bodhi tries to explain, “no, no we’re not--”

“Don’t worry about it, hon,” she smiles. “No judgment here.”

Luke paces forward, his expression conflicted. “But we’re--” She won’t hear it, though. The landlady smiles kindly at them, giving them no chance to refute her further. She ushers them towards the bedroom, pointing out the “improvements” to the space, like fixed electrical wiring or new doors.

She continues to throw several oh-so-subtle hints about how nice it the apartment would be for a couple’s first place together. It leaves Bodhi at a complete loss for what to say, let alone with the ability to look Luke in the face for the rest of their time in the apartment. 

After another twenty minutes they manage to escape, with half-hearted promises to consider her offer. The walk back down to the car is in stilted silence. It’s not until they get past the front doors, and out into the cool air of fall again, that Bodhi finds his voice. “Sorry about that.”

Luke only shrugs, but there’s something tense in his face, something that sets Bodhi’s nerves on edge. He fears that there’s going to be another argument, one more in a long line of them that Bodhi’s had to fend off ever since announcing his plans. Or worse, Luke is going to continue to shoot him the sad, pleading eyes. But Luke keeps his promise to not pressure him, and stays silent.

(“If you want to do this… _really_ want to do this,” is what Luke says after a particularly tense few days of questions that led into arguments that led into horrible, stony silence, “I’ll help you look for a place. But, Bodhi, you know you don’t have to. Right? You’re welcome here. It’s your place too.”)

“What did you think about the apartment?” Bodhi ventures, doing his best to break the awkward silence.

Luke mulls over the question, and then hesitantly replies: “It’s… not bad? But it’s…” He can practically hear Luke trying to be diplomatic about it. “It’s farther from _Kyber & Lace_ for you.”

Bodhi frowns. That’s not the argument he expected. “Yeah, a little maybe…”

Luke turns those concerned blue eyes on him. “Bodhi, you’d have to take _two changeovers and a bus_ to get to work from here. At least with us, we could drop you off--” Luke forces himself to stop, visibly reigning in the same debate they’ve been having all week. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to… but there are probably places closer to your building. Or at least with an easier route than this.”

Not knowing how to begin arguing that one, Bodhi shrugs and hunches closer to the window. “It’s… fine, I mean…” It’s not fine. “Maybe I’ll try a different place,” he relents in the end. “But this one isn’t bad, right?”

“Sure,” Luke says with seemingly endless patience. Bodhi doesn’t want to think about what that means. When Luke turns his eyes back to the road, the smile dims from his face into something sad and resigned.

He doesn’t want to think about that either.

\--------------------4---------------------

“You know, you don’t make it easy for me when you’ve got these bags under your eyes. Have you been keeping hydrated? Sleeping enough?” The only thing that keeps Bodhi from rolling said eyes is the threat of having them poked by Sy’s concealer brush. 

“Not as much as I should,” Bodhi admits, keeping his gaze focused on the curtained partition slightly above and to the right of Sy’s shoulder as she works. He quirks a smile at her, just a quick one. “You can make me look pretty again, can’t you, Sy?”

“Honey, I could make a toad look pretty. Dolling you up isn’t even a drop in the pond.” Sy, who sometimes goes by the strange nickname of Snootles, is a large, middle-aged woman who has been with _Kyber & Lace _since before it was… _Kyber & Lace_. She’s a fixture of the company, and can run circles around any of them. Bodhi has had her as his makeup artist for two shoots and a handful of screen tests so far, and every time is an adventure.

She shuts her concealer compact with a snap, and selects another palette from her kit. “Anything else I need to cover up for you, since you’re being kept up so late?” There’s a sly smile in her voice, and it draws Bodhi up short.

“And what’s _that_ supposed to mean?”

Sy is less than repentant. “Nothing at all. Only that if those two handsome young men of yours are giving me things to cover up, you don’t have to be shy about it.”

Bodhi sputters. “ _Sy!_ ”

“I’m just saying.”

“Hey, Bodhi…” Cassian, bless him, takes that moment to poke his head around the curtain. Bodhi could honestly get up and kiss him at that moment, he’s so grateful. “Qi’ra’s ready to show us the next line. Are you ready?”

Bodhi leaps out of the chair, smiling sheepishly at Sy’s protests. He almost backs into Cassian in his haste, turning at the last second and hissing “ _help_ ” through his teeth. Cassian’s mouth purses, clearly holding back a smile, damn him.

“Can I steal him for a bit, Sy?” Cassian doesn’t wait for her to answer, making peaceful gestures as he ushers Bodhi back out into the open plan of _Kyber & Lace_. He slings an arm around Bodhi’s shoulders to lead him farther out, before Sy can reel them back into the clutches of her makeup chair.

“Thanks,” Bodhi sighs. “It was getting awkward. I thought after a while people around here would stop thinking I was dating Luke. Or Wedge. It was funny for the first week.”

He catches the sharp glance Cassian throws his way, and the unreadable expression that flashes across his face.

“What?”

Cassian opens his mouth, and seems to rethink whatever his next words were going to be. Eventually he shakes his head. “Nothing. Just… how are things going? Have you had any luck finding a new apartment?”

Bodhi shrugs helplessly. “Looked at a few places. Haven’t found one that works yet, though.”

“That’s good.”

“It is?” he asks sharply. He leans away from Cassian’s side, letting his arm fall from his shoulders.

Cassian inclines his head, his expression apologetic now. “Only because it means you’re looking for someplace _for you_ , and not someplace to _get away._ There’s a difference, right?”

As much as Bodhi would like to argue that point, the memory of his first apartment is still so clear in his mind. He shudders. “I guess, yeah. But I wish I would find one sooner.”

“How are Luke and Wedge handling it?”

“Alright, I guess…” Bodhi lies unconvincingly. At Cassian’s pointed look, he shrugs defensively. “They’re not trying to convince me to stay anymore. Luke and I talked about it, and came to an understanding.”

Cassian is still looking at him.

“ _What?_ ” he repeats.

“I don’t think being resigned can be considered ‘an understanding,’ Bo.” The noise Bodhi makes is downright affronted, and Cassian holds up a hand. “It’s your choice, I’m not going to try and argue that. But I also know that you were happy with them. The three of you were happy. It seems a shame to move out now.”

“You’re breaking up with your boyfriends?” Both of them jolt at the sudden question, and Bodhi immediately feels his face grow hot. Neither of them had noticed that they’ve arrived at their destination, and that Qi’ra is now watching Bodhi with the kind of sympathy that makes Bodhi want to turn tail and run. 

He opens his mouth, but can’t think of anything to say to that - or how he should even dispute it. Cassian is no help whatsoever, clearly trying not to laugh. It’s made worse by the eyes all around them, coworkers surreptitiously watching him for an answer - for the latest office gossip.

In the end, Bodhi just hangs his head and sighs. He’s never going to hear the end of this one.

\--------------------5---------------------

Another few days of infuriating sympathies and well wishes from his coworkers and Bodhi is ready to lose his damn mind. If he hears one more consoling tale of how the people he works with believed “that the three of them had such a great, healthy relationship” or “if you need anything, just let me know, Bodhi,” then Bodhi is sure that he’s going to break down screaming in the middle of _Kyber & Lace_. It’s a stressful icing on top of a very stressful cake - and _no_ , that metaphor does not make sense even as Bodhi thinks it.

But the final nail in the coffin is taking Wedge with him to look at another apartment. 

That’s his first mistake. The second may be that he actually dared to hope. 

Luke, his usual apartment hunting partner, is called unexpectedly in to work with Ben Kenobi’s latest collection. Bodhi almost goes on his own, before Wedge steps in and passes Bodhi the spare helmet for his motorcycle. And Bodhi has… little choice after that.

(He does, actually, and he probably should have insisted on taking the bus. Things have been tense between them ever since Bodhi announced his intention to move out. He and Luke, they have an understanding, no matter what Cassian says. He and Wedge… haven’t really spoken much since this all started.)

The ride out to Bodhi’s prospective apartment is painfully awkward. Bodhi almost wishes that Wedge was actually angry at him - anything would be better than the stilted silence. Wedge continues to not say a word as he follows Bodhi up to meet the landlord, only sedately accepting the man’s hand after Bodhi introduces him. 

He’d like to blame that for his own lack of focus as they walk the apartment. Objectively, the place is just what Bodhi’s been looking for. It’s modest, in a fair distance from the _Kyber & Lace_ office, and it’s in his price range. The neighborhood is older, but cozy with good people living in it, and the garden outside Bodhi’s window would be a breathtaking view in the mornings. He should be _excited_ about finding a place that he can actually make an offer on.

Instead all he feels is a lingering sense of dread.

It’s a feeling he should have listened to. Because Wedge fills a moment of silence in the walkthrough by calling out: “So what’s this crack in the closet ceiling?” 

Bodhi flinches at the sudden sound of Wedge’s voice, but he’s not the only one. The landlord grimaces, real panic flickering across is face for an instant. “There was some minor water damage on the floor above,” he explains quickly, eyes jumping between them. “There’s already a contractor coming to assess it. Of course, I wouldn’t expect to sell it without having an expert look at the damage first.”

Wedge hums noncommittally, but Bodhi can’t help but feel like he, and his prospective apartment, is being judged.

“Sure, that’s something we’d have to work out,” Bodhi agrees pointedly. His third, and final, mistake of the day is to hope that Wedge stops there. But he only narrows his eyes, looking around the apartment now as if he’s going to come across a snake in one of the cabinets.

“These windows are old. The seal’s cracked,” he comments next. And a few moments later, “It looks like there’s some faulty wiring in the bedroom - the lights pop.”

And a handful more, on and on as Bodhi tries to listen to what the landlord has to say about the building. With each one, Bodhi’s hackles raise just a little more. Then the landlord says the words that nearly make Bodhi scream, even if they are asked in gentle conversation: “So how long have you two been together?”

The moment that it takes for Bodhi to rein himself in, to not simply walk out of the apartment then and there, is damning enough. But it’s Wedge who answers first. “Five years. Since college,” he says briskly. “We were dormmates our first year.”

Bodhi chokes on his own gasp. “W--”

Wedge doesn’t even look at him, responding to the landlord’s congratulations with a tight smile. And then proceeds to continue on with the conversation with the man as if he hadn’t just explicitly insinuated himself as Bodhi’s lover.

Neither of them appear to notice as Bodhi gapes at Wedge with mounting horror. As Wedge recounts how they first met and the small, intimate instances of their friendship as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. As if the boundaries of their relationship don’t exist.

“--I lost a bet and got locked out of the dorm in my boxers. Had to walk all the way to the library to find him. He gave me his hoodie to wear on the way back, like a gentleman--”

How can he do it so _easily?_ Bodhi can’t help but marvel at it. Wedge is not an accomplished liar by a long shot. He’s a goddamn awful liar. And yet he can stand there and pretend he’s been in love with him for years. That _they’ve_ been in love for years. 

“Sorry to say, but I don’t think this place is going to work out for us…”

Wedge’s words cut through the indistinct buzz of his thoughts, bringing with it a strangely numb sensation. And then it becomes _rage._

“ _Wedge_ ,” he says sharply. The way Wedge jumps should be satisfying, but all Bodhi can feel in that moment is unadulterated fury at his best friend. It’s so potent that it’s practically an out of body experience. His mouth moves without consciously realizing it, crisply telling the landlord: “It looks like we’ll have to discuss it, and get back to you, if that’s okay?” He feels nothing of the polite smiles they give as they say their goodbyes.

Once they’re shown out of the apartment, Wedge makes a single, somewhat abashed attempt to speak to him, to which Bodhi cuts him off with a glare. “Not here,” he warns lowly. The last thing he wants is to do this where people, people who might soon be his neighbors, can freely see them. 

Wedge doesn’t fight him on it, only snaps his mouth shut and gazes resolutely ahead as they make their way back towards the parking garage. The silence that envelops them is icy and thick, out of place on the bright autumn day. Bodhi manages to keep it together until they reach Wedge’s motorcycle, tucked away in the safely deserted floor of the garage. And then he turns on heel, drawing Wedge up short.

“The hell was that back there?” Bodhi asks, his voice steely. His anger is a cold knot in his stomach, heavy and vaguely nauseating. 

Wedge has the grace to flinch. “Bodhi…”

“No, what were you _thinking_? Of all the childish, cruel things you could have done--” He sucks in a sharp breath, somehow managing to keep his voice even. His hands aren’t as steady, and he clenches them into fists to hide how they shake. “What the hell made you think that you had the right to do that?”

“Look, you’re right, okay? I’m sorry.” There’s a stubborn twist to Wedge’s expression despite the regret in his words, and it does little to soothe Bodhi. “That was a shitty thing to do. I’ll admit that. But I had to do something!”

“You _had_ to?” Bodhi hisses.

“If I didn’t, you were going to take this place and walk out on us without even talking to us about it, Bodhi.”

“We have talked about it!” His control slips, for just a moment, his voice rising sharply before he can rein it back in.

“No, _you’ve_ talked about it, and talked over us when we try to help. When we ask _why_ or how we can fix it _._ You don’t want to talk to us Bodhi, you just want to run away!” 

“There’s nothing to fix! And you’re not helping your case when your solution is sabotaging my attempts to find an apartment by pretending to be in love with me and bad-mouthing the place!”

Dimly, he hears Wedge sputter, “ _Pretending--_ ”

But Bodhi can’t be stopped now. There’s nothing that can stop the words from pouring out of him. “I can’t fucking do this anymore.” His emotions are no longer a cold stone deep inside him, but a well of fire. He burns from his core to the tips of his fingers, his head swimming as he drags in another breath. “We’re not in college anymore, Wedge. It’s time to grow up…”

“What the hell does that even mean?!”

“It means that I can’t be the little fucktoy that you and Luke spice your relationship up with while you guys are doing the whole domestic bliss thing.” He never imagined the stunned expression on Wedge’s face could be so satisfying. “It was fun while we were in college, but this is the real world now. And you and Luke are meant for each other and I’m just... _here_. And I’m sick of it. I thought it was better after I had my own place for a while, and it had gone back to just being fun. I thought I was okay with it, but I can’t be.” Bodhi’s voice hitches traitorously, and his face immediately goes hot with the humiliation of it all. 

The jolt of it, the realization that he’s finally placing the final nail in the coffin on their strange arrangement, makes all the anger drain out of him. What’s left behind is something that Bodhi’s scared to put a name to. But it’s hollow and so _tired_.

“Just let me do this, Wedge. Please.”

There’s a ringing silence, and then, “No.”

Bodhi barely has time to do more than let out an outraged noise, because Wedge closes the distance between them and cups a hand around the back of his neck. And then he’s being dragged in for a searing kiss.

His mouth opens in a gasp, quickly swallowed up by Wedge’s lips. Bodhi can do no more than stand there and be kissed, with Wedge’s hands burning at his nape and at his ribs. It’s over too fast, but he sways after Wedge as he pulls away. There’s no point in trying to cover for the action, because Wedge slides an arm around Bodhi’s waist, keeping him close.

“No,” Wedge repeats, softer now. If there’s the tiniest hint of a rasp in his voice, neither of them call attention to it. “We won’t just let you walk away. Not without telling you how much you mean to us. That you belong with us. Bodhi…” His hand slides around, so careful as he cups Bodhi’s face. The trail of his fingers tingle along Bodhi’s skin, and he trembles unconsciously. “It’s never been just me and Luke. It’s _always_ been the three of us. Did you really think that… Bodhi, I’m so sorry.”

Bodhi’s voice dies in his throat, unable to do anything more than watch the play of emotions across Wedge’s face. If he speaks, he fears that this spell will be broken. That reality will creep back in and Wedge will stop looking at him like he’s the answer to everything.

Undeterred by his silence, Wedge gazes imploringly at him. “We want you to stay, to be with us. No more misunderstandings. _We want you._ If you want to leave, we’ll support that. Just don’t do it because you don’t think we want you. Please just think about it before you decide. And talk to us. Please?”

It takes Bodhi another minute to muster the strength to nod. “Alright,” he says at last, and his voice sounds nothing like his own. 

Wedge doesn’t step back right away. And with every second he lingers, so tantalizingly close, Bodhi grows one step closer to insanity. His hands ache to pull Wedge back in again, his heart a staccato against his ribs with the thrill that’s just beginning to dawn in him.

But Wedge finally does step back, a hesitant smile on his lips, and offers his hand. “Let’s go home?”

_Home._

Bodhi swallows and slides his hand into Wedge’s, the warmth of his palm against his fingertips. He thinks of their cramped little apartment - _theirs_ , he tests the word in his thoughts. He thinks of Luke waiting for them, all sunshine and so much love to give. And his heart swells with wonder and hope.

“Yeah… home.”

**END.**


End file.
